Reunion (1)

I didn’t ask for an immediate answer. No matter what, I had no intention of pushing Claire that hard.

The deadline is until we reach the next city. I believe there’s a rather unremarkable domain around here.

Was it the Leze Viscounty?

I haven’t been there, but I remembered it as a stop along our journey.

We should arrive in about four days.

If Claire doesn’t give me an answer by the time we leave that place, then our destination will no longer be Alfheim but the Pantheon Temple headquarters.

Claire will be protected in what is relatively the safest place in this world. Whether she awakens her holy power there or lives and dies as an ordinary person is up to her.

Personally, I’d prefer her to live that way, but since she doesn’t want that, I can’t force it on her right now.

“Lost.”

“Hmm?”

As I was smoking tobacco alone a little distance away from our campsite, Línea approached with a concerned expression.

Línea had been like this for a while. She’s been in this state ever since I saved those children at the cost of my lifespan.

She’s just worried.

In reality, though I’m a bit tired, I didn’t use much of my lifespan.

Even if my soul was shaved away, I didn’t even use a hundredth of it to save all those children.

If I could live to be 100, it would just mean living until 90 instead. In reality, if I don’t have accidents or get killed, I’d live much longer than that, so it’s needless worry.

“If you have something to say, go ahead. I’ll listen to any nagging.”

I’m willing to do that now.

After all, I can’t hold my head high either.

“Then give me your hand.”

“Hmm?”

Though I expressed doubt, I placed my hand on Línea’s outstretched palm.

Immediately, Línea took out some disinfectant from her pocket and started pouring it over my hand.

I’d forgotten, but apparently blood was still flowing from the stigmata.

I can’t deny that I’m tired, even if I try to hide it.

“This will sting, are you okay with that?”

“Well, this much is fine.”

“Just because it doesn’t hurt doesn’t mean you should leave it alone. The wound could get worse.”

“That’s true. I’ve become too accustomed to healing with holy magic, so my senses have probably dulled a bit…”

“Hurting yourself like that, saying it doesn’t hurt—that’s not good either.”

“……”

“It might sound ridiculous for me to say this, considering how I’ve lived until now.”

“…It’s not ridiculous.”

Línea carefully wrapped a bandage around my hand while admonishing me as if it were nothing.

“Don’t say you’re willing to sacrifice yourself to save others. We might not always be able to choose the best option, but let’s try a little harder, okay?”

After finishing treating the wound, Línea took a step back.

I looked at the bandage she had carefully wrapped and said.

“That hurts… a little.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

It’s not ridiculous because it’s her saying it. It hurts because it’s coming from her who used to be that way.

It hurts because it’s coming from someone who used to value her own life so little.

I couldn’t make any excuses.

I couldn’t blend into this world.

Though I’ve come back to what I remember as the past, my world still remains in that landscape of destruction.

That’s why. If I can save innocent people through my sacrifice, I would gladly do so.

I’ve become able to easily place my life on the scales.

“…I just can’t bring myself to love this world.”

“Is it because you’re a prophet, Lost?”

“Well, something like that.”

It feels like I’m looking at a painting.

The sensation of painting over a ruined landscape that I had tried so hard on.

I can’t love that painting because the scenery of the previous world still faintly shows through the paint.

That effort, that time, was the result of my growth and accumulated experience.

Even if it ended in ruin, it was still a painting in itself.

Painting over it feels like merely erasing traces of the past, and that’s too painful.

Yes, I’ve made various excuses, but the conclusion is still…

“No matter how hard I try, I just can’t bring myself to like this world.”

It’s different. This is not where I belong. Once, the sweet dream of past happiness was so enticing.

Now, only a sense of duty remains to paint over that ruined landscape and turn it into a beautiful picture.

That’s why I can easily place my life on the scales.

If I can just defeat Belial. If I can just do that, nothing else matters.

The words I spoke before him weren’t bravado but my true feelings.

More than half of my plans involve sacrificing myself.

Because I can’t love this world, I’m not attached to it.

“Then.”

At that moment, Línea, who had stepped back, boldly approached again.

“If no matter how hard you try, you can’t bring yourself to like this world.”

She must have taken a bigger step than when she retreated, as she was now even closer than before.

From this position, Línea said:

“How about trying to like me instead?”

“…You?”

I briefly asked back at her sudden words.

“…How about trying to like people instead?”

“That doesn’t seem to be what you said before.”

“I-I just changed a few words. There wasn’t much difference, was there?!”

“No.”

“Are you doubting my words right now? Are you saying that you, tired and exhausted as you are, are more accurate than me?”

“……”

“Then I must be right, correct?”

“Yeah…”

Well, Línea is a person too.

Trying to like not just her individually but all the companions around me—that’s a sufficiently plausible motivation.

Let’s leave it at that for now.

Neither of us is ready to face such issues yet.

“W-well, I’m worried about Claire too, so I’ll go check on her.”

“Sure, I’ll just smoke one more and then come back.”

“Don’t smoke too much; it’s not good for you.”

“I won’t.”

Línea walks away with stiff, mechanical movements.

It’s quite an unnatural sight.

If she’s going to be embarrassed, she shouldn’t have said anything at all.

This must be her nature as well.

“Were you slacking off while someone else was hunting?”

“That’s harsh, calling it slacking. We were keeping watch.”

“That mouth of yours never stops spewing lies.”

As I put another cigarette in my mouth, Titan appeared from the depths of the forest.

In his hands, he was dragging a magical beast pig so enormous it could be compared to an elephant.

“An Oily Boar, huh.”

“I caught it because it seemed big and porcine, but is it edible?”

“If you’re talking about meat, there aren’t many edible parts. Still, it’s not bad for our current situation.”

As its name suggests, the Oily Boar is a wild pig with unusually abundant fat and grease.

This makes it mushy and greasy when eaten as is, but if you separate the oil and fat, it becomes a decent ingredient.

It can be used as fuel or rendered into lard for cooking.

Besides, parts with relatively less fat are quite edible.

After all, it is pork.

“Let’s start by butchering it. Kids need to eat well to grow.”

“Is that why you always eat so much? You don’t need to grow any more.”

“I’m still in my growing phase.”

We exchange meaningless jokes while draining the Oily Boar’s blood.

Normally, we’d wait for the blood to drain naturally, but as Titan said, we now have many mouths to feed. It might get a bit messy, but it would be faster to remove the edible parts first and drain the blood separately.

“But what’s that about? If she has nothing to do, I’d like her help.”

“What? Ah…”

Titan frowned deeply, pointing in a direction where there was a tree large enough to easily hide a person.

Unfortunately, it seemed the tree wasn’t enough to hide a luxuriant tail.

A tail sticking out from beside the tree could be seen swaying.

“…Just leave Línea alone.”

“The black fox is still useless. Fine. You catch that side.”

“Demoted again already?”

“I said catch it, white hair.”

“I’m demoted too?”

It’s been quite a while since this guy called me something other than my name.

I’m pretty sure we introduced ourselves when we were subjugating the bandits.

Come to think of it, he calls Claire that way too. I wonder how he’ll address them when they’re together.

No, would he even think about such things?

“But I’m a patient right now.”

I’ve lost too much blood saving those children. I can proudly claim that I probably lost more blood than the Oily Boar that Titan just caught.

“If you don’t like walking on two legs, I can change that for you.”

Merciless. Seriously…

*     *      *

The Blade of Devastation, Teska, had already distanced himself from Lost’s vicinity.

Since he primarily focused on cultivating half-demons, his personal combat abilities were significantly inferior compared to Belial’s other blades.

Of course, this also meant he could move more stealthily than other demons.

“The plan failed as expected.”

-Is that so?

Thus, Teska’s most fearsome aspect was that his true nature remained unknown.

That was precisely why Belial had chosen him as his instrument this time.

If the opponent was a regressor who had traversed time, then it made sense to select someone even the opponent wouldn’t know.

Of course, even that couldn’t be guaranteed, but compared to the other blades who had been directly employed in the war, the probability was lower.

“When the Vicarious Saint extended his hand and emitted light, my connection with the half-demons under my control was severed. I thought I’d shaken him quite well, but it seems I was still lacking.”

Teska laughed awkwardly.

He thought he’d done a good job of unsettling Lost. After all, this plan had been aimed not at Lost himself but at those around him.

He thought Claire, who had been a member of the Ryan barony, would surely be a good target.

That part went as planned, but…

‘He still went through with it.’

Despite everything, Lost didn’t stop. Whatever the consequences might be, the plan to shake Lost’s resolve by using child soldiers probably wouldn’t work in the future.

Fortunately, for the current Teska, it would have been enough if the relationship between Lost and Claire had soured because of this incident.

That had been his original purpose anyway.

-Then what will you do next?

“Excuse me? There are no separate instructions… Ah, no. Of course, I have a plan.”

Teska questioned Belial’s attitude of not giving him additional orders but quickly shook his head and changed his words.

It was strange, but he couldn’t afford to express doubt—it might endanger him too.

The qualification of being the Blade of Devastation could be replaced more easily than the other blades.

‘I need to be careful.’

He had never had his position threatened before, but this opponent was a deranged heresy inquisitor who didn’t even blink at his schemes.

Even for Teska, who had been active under Belial for hundreds of years and had killed apostles before, this opponent was enough to make him wary.

If Lost were just a heresy inquisitor, he could be crushed with power.

If he were an ordinary apostle, his benevolent heart could be exploited to kill him.

But this time, the opponent had quite an anomalous quality.

For someone like Teska, who specializes in devastating minds, this was an opponent to be extremely cautious of.

‘Perhaps this is an opportunity to prove myself.’

Already, two of Belial’s selected blades had been defeated.

Quite an exceptional situation.

If he were to excel in such circumstances, he might rise to a position above the remaining blades.

Perhaps he could receive new power from Belial himself.

“Considering their movement pattern, the next city they’ll reach is likely the Leze Viscounty. The forces I currently have would be more than enough to subjugate it. I’m thinking of cornering and attacking them there.”

-But even if you pour all your forces into it, there’s no guarantee you can kill that impudent fellow, right?

“That’s correct.”

Teska is the demon who commands the largest number of children under him.

Although the individual capabilities may not be outstanding, if overwhelmed by numbers, even Lost, an apostle, could be defeated.

However, they couldn’t prevent him from escaping. If Lost set his mind to it, eluding Teska’s army wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“So I don’t plan to attack the Leze Viscounty immediately.”

-Hmm…

“That small city will become the apostle’s shackle. If we strike at the right moment, an opportunity will surely arise.”

After all, he is an apostle.

Even if he could kill child soldiers who had become half-demons without hesitation, he wouldn’t just stand by and watch innocent humans die.

If that were his humanity, he couldn’t have become a clergyman, let alone an apostle.

“With that in mind, it’s simple.”

From the beginning, the target wasn’t Lost.

Choosing the Leze Viscounty was merely a strategy to completely restrict Lost’s individual movements.

Teska’s purpose had always been singular.

“I will surely carve a crack in the apostle’s heart.”

-I see.

“…?”

Teska felt uneasy about Belial’s somehow indifferent attitude.

The feeling that Belial had no expectations sent a chill down his spine.

‘No, this won’t do.’

Having no expectations.

Teska knew how dangerous that was.

Hadn’t he been targeting such gaps in people’s hearts all along?

If he failed this time, there would be no next time. Actually, even if he succeeded, it would be meaningless without visible results.

It meant there was no way back.

“That girl, Claire Ryan. I will definitely break her!”

-How?

“…Excuse me?”

-How do you plan to break her?

Whether it was a rebuke or an expectation.

At such a question, Teska forced a smile at the corners of his mouth and answered.

“I will turn her into a half-demon.”