Slowly, Little by Little (2)

A little past noon.

That’s when I woke up, having collapsed into sleep from exhaustion after resolving the incident and handling its aftermath.

I had stayed awake until Línea’s treatment was complete, followed by the conversation with Shade and disposing of Viera’s head that he left behind.

“Phew……”

In reality, about 3 hours.

That’s how much rest I could get. Though I wanted to sleep deeply, I woke up quickly after just closing my eyes briefly because I was worried about remaining matters.

After checking Línea’s condition, I need to head straight to the guard post to explain last night’s events.

The empire has already shown me considerable consideration after all.

“I could have gone in your place.”

“Your Holiness, when was the last time you slept?”

“It’s been 2 weeks as of today.”

“You should rest a bit.”

“Don’t worry about me. So, Saint, you should get a bit more sleep……”

“No, this is something I as the person involved need to explain. Even if others were responsible, it wouldn’t look good for Your Holiness to step in. It might seem like trying to use power to suppress things.”

“……I understand.”

This incident involved Titan, a prince from another country, and a daughter of the prestigious House Spirin within the empire.

With such individuals involved, Cotinus stepping in would only complicate matters further.

“First, I’ll check Línea’s condition before going.”

“Saint, you truly care for your companions. It’s admirable.”

“Of course I should. She ended up in that state because of me.”

If we’re assigning responsibility for this incident, it can only be me.

Though neither Línea who recklessly went to meet Wallace Hope nor Mar who fell right into Margaret’s trap did anything right, it’s clear all of it happened because of me.

I should have paid more attention to those around me.

The problem was that my habits from being a heresy inquisitor remained, making me not pay much attention to my surroundings beyond myself.

“So I should take responsibility.”

Part of me doesn’t want to let Línea continue traveling with us anymore.

No, not just Línea. The same goes for Claire. They could needlessly be exposed to threats because of me.

However, it’s already too late for that given how long and deeply they’ve been involved with me. Even if I try to distance myself from them, that cunning demon wouldn’t leave them alone.

“Then, I’ll go handle other matters. Saint.”

“Yes, Your Holiness. Thank you for your consideration.”

As we approached the ward, Cotinus quietly stopped his steps.

A sign that he wouldn’t interfere between me and my companions.

Meaning we could talk freely.

“……”

There were few people passing through the building designated for treatment.

To begin with, most people who come to the temple for injuries come needing holy magic. There’s rarely need for long-term treatment.

So there aren’t many hospitalized patients, and not many priests managing them either. If someone needs hospitalization, they should go to a hospital anyway.

Walking through the quiet building interior, I finally gathered my thoughts in front of Línea’s ward.

First, a knock.

It would be terribly rude to enter without warning if she’s awake.

Of course, the same would be true even if she wasn’t awake, but still.

“Yes, come in.”

Fortunately, Línea was awake, perhaps thanks to her beastkin’s naturally hardy constitution.

Her voice had no tremor and was calm.

Fortunately, it seems her mental issues have been somewhat resolved too.

“Hi Línea. How’s your body……”

The first thing I saw upon opening the door was Claire who had collapsed onto the bed as if she’d fainted from exhaustion.

And for some reason, Línea wearing a flowing dress instead of hospital clothes.

“……You look good.”

“I wanted to be in a comfortable state.”

“Comfortable state. Hmm, right.”

That’s not wrong.

Though I don’t understand why it can’t be hospital clothes, that kind of dress would certainly be easier to move in and feel lighter.

Of course, it’s a bit strange that everything else looks perfect too.

Hair looking neater and more glossy than usual, and cheeks slightly flushed as if wearing makeup.

No matter how I look at it, it seems she dressed up, but is that just my imagination? Maybe it’s because she was able to lighten her mental burden from yesterday?

Right, that would make sense.

Nothing has changed, but perhaps her outward expression changed because her mental burden was lightened.

There’s no way she would do something crazy like dressing up to look good for me while sick, so that must be it.

“How do you feel?”

I pulled over a chair and sat down after gently pushing aside Claire’s bed where she was sprawled out lazily since morning.

Each time I moved, Línea’s ears would perk up expectantly, making me feel oddly pressured.

“About my body…… Um…… Ah, ahh, I feel a bit dizzy……”

Línea who had just been sitting straight up and conversing normally suddenly squeezed her eyes shut and started swaying.

Acting so awkward it was obvious. Still, just as I was about to catch her with both arms to play along.

“……”

Línea who looked like she would fall toward me at any moment suddenly froze and carefully gripped the edge of my clothes between her index finger and thumb.

I really have no idea what she’s thinking.

I can’t even guess her purpose at all.

*     *      *

For Línea, all of this was happening because of first love.

Despite her obvious expressions of affection, her eccentric behavior made it impossible for Lost to be certain about it.

Just as Línea who had been acting like she would fall into Lost’s arms at any moment changed course to just lightly pulling on his clothes, it left Lost’s judgment in confusion.

Affection so obvious it couldn’t be more clear. Right before expressing it, embarrassment flooded to her head and made her stop.

‘I-I can’t do it! How could I?!’

Because of that, even Lost’s thoughts of wondering if she might have feelings for him stopped.

Her actions before and after.

At that strange phenomenon, Lost wondered if maybe Línea was truly dizzy but didn’t want to lean on him specifically.

While Lost couldn’t decide what to do because of that eccentricity.

Línea realized how awkward it was to just be holding onto Lost’s clothes and let go.

“I-I think I might be okay but also not okay……”

Línea who had been rambling without even knowing what she was saying soon quietly pulled the blanket over herself.

‘What is it? Which is it? Is she indirectly telling me to leave?’

Total confusion.

For Lost who had lived a weathered life, Línea’s fresh feelings were difficult to recognize.

He had never felt such emotions himself to begin with, nor had he encountered anyone who held such feelings.

The emotion of love that Lost knew was just something endlessly passionate.

Since he often dealt with people who had gone mad from it, in some ways it was frightening.

“T-then get some rest……”

Seeing Línea’s attitude that was clearly different from usual, Lost finally judged that she could use more time to stabilize and carefully rose from his seat.

“Ah, I’m better now!”

“Huh?”

“I think I’m fine now.”

“Ah…… That’s good. Hmm.”

At that sight, Línea threw off the blanket she had pulled over herself and shouted as if startled. Lost who had been in an awkward half-risen position from his chair quietly sat back down.

“Ahem! I-I’m really fine. Thanks to your advice yesterday, Lost, I was able to resolve the problem that had been troubling my mind for so long.”

“Really? That’s good then……”

Lost could feel relieved seeing Línea give a normal response after finally regaining her senses.

For Lost who had worried she might have hit her head, those words were enough of a salvation.

“What happened is my fault, so I should apologize. I should have clearly told you beforehand that Duke Wallace Hope was dangerous.”

“Ah, I knew that. It’s my fault for doing it despite knowing.”

Línea and the others already knew Wallace Hope was dangerous through Lost’s reactions.

After all, he had shown clear anger and hatred to a degree he rarely displays normally.

Línea approaching Wallace Hope despite seeing that was purely her own judgment.

“Still though. I should have thought that that bastard might target those around me rather than me directly…… I was too complacent.”

“I’m fi-”

Just as Línea was flustered seeing him lower his head to apologize to her.

An inspiration flashed through her mind.

“You really feel sorry?”

“Yes….. It’s all my fault.”

Instead of saying she was fine, Línea glanced aside and spoke.

She really was fine. Getting into such danger was her own fault for valuing her life so lowly.

In some ways, she had ignored Lost’s warning.

Nevertheless, seeing Lost’s humble attitude, Línea decided to use that clever mind of hers.

“Then.”

The experience of first love.

However, unlike others, she was in a situation where she clearly recognized her own feelings. Being in such a state, Línea could coldly devise a plan for her own benefit.

“Today……”

Today. A plan to appeal her charms to him while receiving Lost’s devoted care.

Hadn’t she even put on makeup after pestering Claire before Lost arrived for that purpose?

“Um, well. Today……”

But understanding something intellectually and accepting it emotionally were different.

Though Línea had a clear plan, she realized even putting it into words was difficult now.

“……Buy me a meal.”

In the end, Línea fled from the golden opportunity she had finally caught.

Emotions that couldn’t be honest yet.

Línea had intended to show her affection for Lost clearly and obviously, but her heart pounding like it would burst wouldn’t allow it.

“Sure, ……but separate from that, there’s something I need to say.”

At Lost’s somewhat bitter expression as he spoke in a subdued tone, Línea who had been cursing her own weakness with her eyes squeezed shut turned her head.

Understanding what he was trying to say from his expression that seemed somewhat bitter somewhere, Línea’s heart sank as well.

“I’ll keep going.”

“……Huh?”

“That’s what you were going to ask about, right? Were you thinking of telling me to evacuate to a safe place since being with you could be dangerous in the future?”

“That’s not it, but…… it is similar. Something like this could happen again in the future. Even so, do you still plan to continue traveling with us?”

In Lost’s thinking, Línea’s situation was different from the other two.

Claire originally wanted to confirm something from Lost. Her and her brother. And himself.

To judge the causality entangled between those three, she needed to observe Lost as a person with her own eyes.

For that purpose, Claire had decided to endure this hardship.

Then what about Titan?

For him, the hardships encountered during travel were the purpose itself.

Since his goal was awakening his abilities by fighting strong opponents, Lost thought it was more certain to keep him from dying somewhere by overcoming difficulties together.

But Línea?

She had no purpose.

Lost now knows. That she had worried because of her ability and joined the journey to find answers about that.

And when she broke down. She said she had lost her purpose for traveling. That was probably undoubtedly true.

Even though Lost turned Línea’s heart around that day, she must have lost any further purpose for traveling.

‘If that ability was the problem…… Línea has already resolved that issue.’

A few words from Lost.

With just that much, Línea broke free from the prejudices of people that had been strangling her for nearly her whole life.

She probably won’t value her own life so lightly anymore even without Lost.

Since she accepted that her ability wasn’t abnormal. Now all her ways of thinking will start changing.

If asked whether she needs him in that process, the answer would probably be no.

“You know, Lost. I believe many things will change.”

“……”

“And I’d like you to be close by to confirm those changes in me.”

Though it sounded almost like a confession, this time Línea neither felt shy nor avoided it.

This much couldn’t be avoided. This much had no trace of embarrassment.

“And I want you to tell me.”

This was an issue before love.

“What kind of person I’ve become.”

She wants to show how she changes from up close. The moment Línea’s journey gained a new purpose.

‘And surely I……’

Though Línea said nothing more after those words, her inner thoughts that had already started moving forward added one more thing.

‘I want you to tell me that you find me lovable.’

Línea smiled brightly and extended her hand to Lost.

At the gesture offering a handshake, Lost gave a bitter smile.

And when Lost also reached out his hand to take hers.

“……”

Línea pulled her hand back with a start.

At that sudden change, as Lost was becoming confused again.

“Ah, um, that’s not it……”

Instead of clasping hands, Línea gently placed her tail on top of Lost’s hand.

“H-here……”

“……”

At that eccentricity that even the person herself couldn’t understand, the ward fell into silence.