Teaching (2)

The words Lost had casually spoken were by no means light ones.

Even if he could take it lightly, this was the kind of issue that could cause an uproar around him.

Both politically and especially religiously.

And also for a certain girl’s purpose.

‘An apostle of the gods, a saint…’

The fact that he wasn’t a Pantheon Temple priest was surprising, but that was indeed the issue.

The fact that Lost was a saint. When exactly had this happened?

There was something she could guess. The anomaly that occurred in Rubia was likely related to Lost’s baptism.

But Linea thought differently.

‘Probably from the beginning.’

When she first saw Lost.

The reason she was captivated by his appearance that was different from everyone else.

As if he was being protected by some incomprehensible great power…

“Ah.”

With a sound that could have been either admiration or a sigh, Linea realized.

Her goal had been achieved.

She had discovered why she couldn’t see the lines only on Lost.

That should be a joyous thing. But at the same time, it was also something to despair over.

“Ahaha…”

She hadn’t thought she could eliminate this cursed ability of hers.

Even if she uncovered Lost’s secret, she hadn’t thought she could erase the lines she saw in this world.

If she researched, if she discovered the reason for Lost’s uniqueness.

She had vaguely hoped she might find a way to weaken or control her ability.

But the result was cruel.

There were only two apostles of the gods in this world.

The most special beings in this world. How could she research something like that?

When it could be summarized in just one word – ‘special’.

“…”

Linea lowered her head.

Her goal had been achieved. There was no reason to continue traveling together.

Yes, her journey was over.

With an absurdly empty, unbearably cruel result.

‘Of course they weren’t visible. After all, an apostle of the gods…’

Could be free from all impurity and evil.

The moment she thought of that, all sorts of negative assumptions flooded Linea’s mind.

Power that was free from impurity and evil. Her ability, those eerie red lines, talent and power meant for killing people.

The conclusion that could be drawn from that.

‘Then am I…’

Her ability, her very existence.

The thought she shouldn’t have had – that they might be impure and evil.

“…Isn’t that right? Linea Spirin.”

Only then did Linea raise her head.

Just how long had she been hanging her head? She had been so lost in thought that she hadn’t even noticed someone calling her until then.

“May I… excuse myself first? Duke.”

“Why not? What reason would I have to stop you? If that’s what you want, by all means. Sometimes one needs time alone.”

Linea unsteadily rose from her seat and bowed her head.

Normally, she shouldn’t withdraw like this in such a setting. Especially considering noble etiquette.

To practically flee when someone had just addressed her.

How terribly rude was that?

But Edge Forys seemed to understand and accommodated Linea.

Linea stumbled out of the arena. As Edge Forys had said, if she was going to keep worrying like this, she needed time alone.

She heavily sat down on a chair placed in a deserted corridor.

By then, her mind had become relatively clear.

“What should I do now?”

Her journey was over. There was nothing more she could gain by continuing to ride along on Lost’s journey.

She didn’t even want to think about whether she herself might be an impure and evil being. The more she tried to find out about such things, the more miserable she would only become.

She had to stay silent now.

Like she had at first, she should live while deceiving herself and keeping her eyes closed.

Opening a small hospital and living by examining patients there.

Living such a life – alone but with some interactions.

At least she wouldn’t die lonely.

“You seem deep in thought, student.”

“…?”

Linea looked up at the person who had addressed her.

Even though she was a beastkin, she hadn’t noticed their approach until they were close.

Whether the other person was that skilled, or if she had been that lost in thought.

Either way, it didn’t seem to matter now. At least she sensed no hostility from them.

“Do you have something troubling you?”

“Ah, no.”

“Your expression says otherwise?”

“…”

How persistent.

But she couldn’t carelessly push them away.

The woman’s gentle smile inspired a strange sense of trust.

“My worries are over. The result was just a bit unfavorable.”

“So you’re hesitating?”

“Hesitating?”

“Yes, you have the expression of someone still hesitating. Are your worries truly over? Or might there be worries remaining in your heart that even you don’t recognize?”

“Ah…”

Linea rubbed her cheeks with both hands. Just what kind of expression was she making right now?

“Would you like to talk about it? Though I’m not anyone special, I am your senior in life. Just speaking about it might help, don’t you think?”

“…”

There was no way she could talk about it.

This wasn’t the kind of story she could share with someone she just met.

Yes, surely that was true, and yet.

“Actually, I left home because I wanted to live quietly.”

“I see.”

An almost dreamlike, hazy feeling. As if enchanted, Linea spilled her worries to the other person.

Perhaps it was as she said – because she had been bottling things up, or perhaps the gentle smile before her put her at ease.

Though Linea knew she had to appropriately edit her situation.

That she could see red lines. That they weren’t visible on Lost.

She had to exclude such crucial details and convey things in more understandable terms.

And yet…

“I, I… I really don’t know. What I should do, if this is really okay… any of it.”

The more Linea spoke, the more her surging emotions made her shed tears.

Though she was supposed to mix in lies, she barely managed to do so toward the end. A disorganized story. One where it was obvious she was hiding the beginning.

Linea was just stringing together such emotional sentences.

“I see… So it was a journey to find something, but what you found had an empty ending… It sounds almost like a fairy tale.”

The other person neatly summarized Linea’s story. Like a fairy tale.

That was truly right.

Wasn’t it identical to those fairy tales where someone greedy ends up losing everything from being even more greedy?

“Then let me tell you something fairy tale-like as well, Linea. You don’t have to end your journey.”

“…I have no reason anymore.”

“Why not? If traveling with friends brings you joy, isn’t that reason enough? Does it need to be something grand? Isn’t simply enjoying being together sufficient reason?”

“That’s too…”

Fairy tale-like words.

As she had said, the woman suggested a solution that truly seemed to come from a fairy tale. It wasn’t wrong.

A journey didn’t need to have a purpose.

Though various practical issues might get tangled up in between…

The option to continue the journey still remained for Linea.

And ridiculously enough, what the woman had said as if it were obvious made Linea recall something she had forgotten.

“Was I enjoying it?”

“Of course. Your joy was overflowing when you talked about it. And your regret too.”

Linea had joined the journey to find answers from Lost.

It had been a dangerous journey. There were many times she had to do unavoidable things after getting caught up in Lost’s schemes.

There were times she had to get blood on her hands.

It had been a difficult, desperate, and even perilous journey.

But it had certainly been enjoyable.

That’s why she sometimes forgot her purpose and just enjoyed the moment.

Though she had always built walls in relationships with others to avoid her lies being discovered, those walls had vanished without her noticing.

That hardship, those efforts to overcome desperate moments, that journey of drifting through dangers while finding their way.

They had all become memories now.

“I don’t know what issues you’re carrying, Linea. But isn’t it alright to close your eyes for a bit? For the sake of present happiness. If you become happy and keep becoming happy, when you look back later, the worries you had might turn out to have been nothing much.”

The woman smiled gently.

A smile that naturally put one at ease. A smile that made one want to lean on it, radiating motherly love.

As if showing a dream.

“You might come to think that way.”

She covered up Linea’s anxiety.

“Shall we go then? Your friend must be waiting. Come with me.”

Linea let herself be led by the woman’s hand out of the arena.

Whether she knew where they were heading, who they needed to find.

She didn’t question any of it.

Somehow, she felt what she was looking for would be where this person was heading.

Linea tightly gripped that hand and followed behind.

*     *      *

“It’s been a year and a bit more?”

To me, it feels like no less than 10 years.

“Teacher, what brings you he… no, I apologize. I have some urgent business right now, could I come find you separately later?”

Though I was about to show my joy at seeing her, for a moment, I remembered I had urgent matters.

Though I was glad to see her, right now I needed to find Linea.

“No? That won’t do.”

“Thank y… Pardon?”

As I tried to pass by Teacher Revenna, she stopped me. That simple action cleared my head.

Why? Why was she stopping me?

Teacher, why exactly?

“My student, I’m quite hurt. A year and a bit more. Haven’t you missed your teacher’s face at all during that time? There’s no guarantee we’ll have such chance meetings in the future.”

“No, that’s…”

“What could be so urgent? What’s the reason for such hurry? Are you sure you’re searching properly?”

“I’m looking for a companion…”

“Why?”

Teacher Revenna kept holding me back when I tried to pass, persistently questioning.

Almost desperately, as if trying to prevent me from leaving no matter what.

For a moment I felt fear at the coldness reflected in her black eyes, but then I remembered this was her way.

“Why are you looking for your companion? Is she in danger? Or did you miss an appointed time? What’s the exact purpose?”

“I think I need to meet her to know.”

I shouldn’t be flustered. I need to make precise plans and act accordingly.

Otherwise, I won’t be able to respond organically.

Always keep a cool head even in urgent situations. That was teacher’s lesson.

“So you’re just searching around without knowing anything?”

“I have some guesses, but it’s not something I can talk about carelessly.”

A suddenly started discussion.

Teacher Revenna asks point by point about what I plan to do.

“Then have you considered the opposite case as well?”

“Pardon?”

“Are you searching while also considering the possibility that she might not want to meet right now?”

Things I hadn’t thought of.

Facts easily forgotten.

She brings each one to mind, making clear what actions I should take. So I don’t make mistakes.

So I don’t cause hurt by acting rashly.

“…Even so, I think I need to find her and talk.”

The best I can do. My mindset for how to handle this.

Only after I laid that out did Teacher Revenna finally smile and step aside.

That action was so suspicious that I couldn’t help but ask.

“Teacher.”

“Yes, my student.”

“Did you meet Linea?”

“Of course. Such a cute child, wasn’t she?”

She knew everything and still did this.

Which means her hypothetical was true, and if I had thoughtlessly searched for Linea, it could have caused hurt.

“Where is she now?”

“Right here. Perfect timing. Linea. He said he wanted to find you no matter what.”

When Teacher Revenna stepped aside with a gentle smile, Linea appeared with an embarrassed expression.

To think she was this close… Her expression isn’t as serious as what Edge Forys implied, which is somewhat reassuring.

“Ah, um… I’m sorry for making you worry… No, that’s not right. Thinking about how much I usually make you worry, I shouldn’t apologize so easily for something like this. I’ll be a bit more shameless.”

“…Right.”

I pressed my forehead in the relaxed atmosphere.

The fortunate thing is that Linea’s state seems relatively normal.

Was Edge Forys lying? No, that can’t be.

Though he likes to mess with people, he’s not the type to lie about something like this.

Then this is…

“I gave her a bit of counseling about her worries. How about that? Does your respect for your teacher grow by leaps and bounds?”

“…Exhaustion is what’s growing.”

Teacher is always like this.

A ridiculous person who puts people in awkward situations as she pleases then claims it was all for teaching.

A peculiar person where maturity and childishness coexist.

But fundamentally, all her actions have meaning. That’s why I can’t even get angry.

“What did you two talk about?”

“Naturally, I shouldn’t carelessly tell you that, don’t you think?”

Teacher Revenna smiles brightly.

But there is strictness in her eyes.

That was a slip-up. To try to dig out someone’s worries from another person.

I must have been quite flustered too.

But…

“My Lost.”

“…”

That name from Teacher Revenna’s lips flustered me even more.

*     *      *

Teacher was a harsh person.

Though she was always smiling brightly, when she was strict there was none stricter.

But how long has it been since I’ve felt that firsthand?

“Lost. I thought you might choose such a name.”

“…”

“I always explained to you about gaining and losing things. If you lost your name as a price for something, I thought you would take on a name befitting that. Was I wrong?”

“…You weren’t wrong.”

“Then this is only natural.”

Teacher gave me the <Morpheus’s Dream Fragment> when I left on my journey.

It was both a charm and a lifeline I could cling to in dire situations.

She probably thinks I used the <Morpheus’s Dream Fragment>. I did use it.

Though I lost my name for a different reason… the price I had to pay then must have been no small matter either.

“From now on, I will call you Lost. To see if what you had to gain in exchange for your name truly matched that value.”

Teacher was harsh.

That’s how she educated. Because she never returned what I had lost.

She pressed cruel reality even upon a child, and.

“Think carefully and chew over your regrets, so you can work to ensure such things never happen again.”

“Yes…”

She has always worked to engrave the weight of those teachings so I would never forget them again.

She probably meant what she said.

She would likely never speak my original name again.