Demon of Sorrow (1)

“I’ll stop scolding you now… How have you been, Lost?”

“You’re not stopping, you’ve already finished scolding me, Teacher.”

If there was anything more to scold about at this point, wouldn’t that be too harsh?

“Well, you seem to be doing well.”

“By the way, I was quite surprised. To think you’d become a priest, and of the Pantheon Temple no less. Though it might be awkward for me to say this, Lost, you’re a bit…”

Teacher Revenna scratches her cheek sheepishly before speaking.

“You had quite a cynical side.”

“It feels rather odd hearing that from the person who raised me that way.”

“Doesn’t it?”

That wasn’t a compliment.

More than that, it’s too much that she has such deeply ingrained thoughts about how unsuitable I am for priesthood.

“Well, what’s done is done. So keep up the good work from now on. Since you’ve become a priest, I hope you can be someone people can lean on. My Lost.”

“Yes, I’ll do my best.”

At least she gives words of encouragement.

Is it because it’s been so long? I’m feeling oddly embarrassed.

“Now then, would you tell me why you’re here, Teacher?”

“Didn’t you know? I’m a scholar.”

Was she?

Well, thinking about the education she gave me, there was a professional feel to it.

I knew Teacher wasn’t an ordinary person, but a scholar…

No, isn’t being a scholar quite ordinary?

Rather, it’s surprising that she has such an ordinary profession?

“…You really didn’t know.”

“As you know, my memories…”

“If you haven’t used both fragments, you know that becomes an obvious lie, right?”

“…”

I quietly took out the <Morpheus’s Dream Fragment> from inside my clothes.

Right. I’m admitting that was a lie.

“My adorable Lost, this teacher is very disappointed.”

“Please remove the ‘adorable’ modifier. No matter how generously I look at myself, I don’t have an adorable impression.”

“To my eyes, you’re still just an adorable little child? Right? Linea. Isn’t he cute?”

“Uh, um… C-cute?”

Why is she doing this? What benefit could Teacher possibly get from this?

Why is she ruining the atmosphere like this? Linea can’t even make eye contact and is just flustered.

She’s even covering her eyes with her tail to avoid being caught in what would obviously be a lie.

At this point, it would be easier on her heart to just admit it’s a lie…

“Well, maybe a little when sleeping?”

“Stop that.”

Why are you seriously answering that?

Moreover, a little when sleeping…

I’m getting embarrassed too seeing Linea speak with a red face.

“Fufu, I’m glad to see you doing well, Lost.”

Teacher smiled gently at me and Linea who were both flustered.

That smile was, how should I put it…

“You’ve made a cute friend too.”

It was similar to a parent’s face watching their child.

*     *     *

Teacher gave me a note with the location of the inn where she planned to stay in case I needed help, then left.

“Are you really okay now?”

“Huh? Ah, yes! I’m fine now!”

“Good, then let’s head back. The kids must be waiting.”

“Yes!”

The awkward atmosphere Teacher Revenna had created before leaving is instantly dispelled.

Though I hadn’t done anything special, Linea managed to shake it off on her own.

Well… Teacher seems to have helped, but still.

Well, she would probably be better at it than me.

I can trust her.

“Oh! Here you are!”

That’s when we returned to the arena. Not only was our group there, but a new person had been added.

“Oppaaa!”

“Damn it.”

“Eh…?”

“No, I meant to say it’s an honor to meet you like this.”

“Though it didn’t seem that long… does it not matter?”

Princess Ilina Crowley.

She calls out to me in a voice so sickeningly sweet it gives me chills.

Well, after winning 2,000 gold, it’s understandable that some affection might develop.

I’d probably feel the same.

Though even so…

“Oppaaa, thank you~ I’ll treat you to dinner tonight, ohohoho.”

It’s disgusting.

Moreover, her behavior is like that of a middle-aged woman.

The her I remembered had a much younger feel than now.

Just how many years of growth shaped her into who she is now from the one I knew?

At this point, she might as well be a different person.

Her outward appearance that gives off a somewhat pure impression and actions that don’t match that at all.

It gives such an unpleasant feeling that I wonder if she might be possessed by an evil spirit.

“Come on, come on, let’s go, let’s go.”

We ended up being pushed along by Ilina Crowley.

It’s not a bad thing. I was planning to approach her anyway.

This lucky connection forming is rather fortunate.

The restaurant she led us to was so high-class that it would be impossible to enter without a reservation.

As expected of a princess.

“Wow? Really? That’s amazing?”

“Right? I told you it was this big?”

I didn’t need to separately try to curry favor with her. I was thinking of gaining her goodwill through various small talk, but someone had already become friends with her without such calculations.

“Heeheeheehee! Delicious!”

“Yeah? Want to try this too?”

“Yes!”

Our crazy girl, Lilia.

Lilia was continuously accepting food from Ilina Crowley like a baby bird, eating with a bright smile.

Do opposites really attract? They get along surprisingly well.

This worked out well. If they become close like this, it’ll be much easier to ask her to send Lilia home.

*     *     *

Though it was a high-class restaurant, we could enjoy a relaxed atmosphere since the meal was in a private room.

Titan seemed dissatisfied with the portion sizes of the course meal, while Linea and Claire, being originally nobility, appeared used to this kind of dining.

Lilia? That one enjoys the atmosphere created through dining more than the meal itself, so it doesn’t matter.

When the mood had mellowed like that.

“Princess Ilina, may I ask you one thing?”

“Anything at all, oppa.”

“Since I’m younger, please speak comfortably.”

“Shall I?”

When I revealed my age after being confused by that momentary glimpse of her past self, Ilina Crowley immediately changed her demeanor.

Taking a deep breath for a moment to get used to the current Ilina Crowley.

“Why do you collect money so eagerly?”

“Isn’t it natural that the more money the better? Isn’t that obvious?”

“Well, that’s true.”

The more money the better.

I think so too. Though not enough to obsess over it, my hands do tremble when calculating the food bills for what Titan and Lilia devour.

But that depends on the person.

Isn’t she a princess?

Moreover, from what I saw at the arena, she’s the type who freely uses her authority. She’s in a position where she could get what she wants or needs without necessarily spending her own money.

Yet she still desperately collects money like this, surely…

“No, never mind. This isn’t the place to talk about money.”

Because she’s acting in a way that would displease the Mystic King, Castian Crowley.

I don’t mention that. It’s too heavy a topic to bring up when we’ve just met.

For now, let’s build up goodwill bit by bit.

“Come to think of it, since we’re visiting this city for the first time today, could we get some advice?”

Not knowing what her sore spots are, let’s avoid personal topics as much as possible.

Like building up stages slowly, while also not appearing too clingy.

“I see. Thank you for the useful words. Since this has become a connection, would it be alright if I bestowed a small blessing for the princess?”

“Ah! Of course. You seemed good at fighting earlier too. Let’s see just how good your blessing is?”

While casting holy magic that breathes vitality into the body, I secretly cast tracking-type holy magic.

With this, I’ve created a thread of connection.

Now I just need to disguise coincidences.

Let’s take it slow. Though it would be better to send Lilia back quickly…

“Heeheehee!”

It should be fine to give her this much time to build memories.

*     *     *

Before my regression, probably about a year before Craig appeared.

It had been almost 2 years since Belial revealed himself and the war began.

How much effort had the Empire and Pantheon Temple put into persuading the uncoordinated leaders of each country during that time?

The funny thing is that even that mighty Empire was split according to Belial’s schemes.

The country was nearly halved, and on top of barely managing against demons and half-demons, internal strife broke out.

How could we have had any chance of winning?

-The Mystic King won’t cooperate.

-That son of a…

-Though I understand his feelings, the Mystic King’s choice can’t be helped. Having devoted his life to scholarship and feeling like he’s about to see its end, he can’t easily throw his life away, can he?

Castian Crowley locked his gates. Making excuses about feeling close to the legendary wall of the 9th circle.

What’s the point of becoming a 9th circle grand mage alone when the world is falling apart?

That’s what I thought.

The Mystic King Castian Crowley and his territory, Arcanum, are protected by powerful barriers.

They’ve created their own paradise where neither half-demons nor humans can intrude.

One who purely desires the end of magic. Though I didn’t like it, that was the evaluation given to Castian Crowley.

Isn’t it ridiculous? While everyone is dying, he locked himself away alone to survive.

Yet they still package it that way.

-If he really succeeds, he could become a reliable ally, after all.

-I wonder. Would someone who hid away for such selfish reasons participate in the war just because he reached 9th circle? Who knows if he might hide away even more thoroughly because he has too much to lose?

-Cielo is being pessimistic.

-Haven’t you considered that the Saintess might be too optimistic?

-There’s nothing wrong with having hope.

I couldn’t argue with that.

Everyone was on edge and knew the current situation was hopeless.

Yet we didn’t speak of it because even a sliver of hope was precious during such times…

-This is tough.

-That’s understandable. But you’ll do better tomorrow, right?

-I suppose so. Tomorrow I should at least pound the pavement. Who knows? I might meet a wandering grand mage.

-That would be interesting. Hehe.

We ended that day’s work after lightening the mood with casual jokes.

And the next day. As I had told the Saintess, I decided to pound the pavement. It was all I could do in my weakness.

But then…

-I really met one.

-Indeed.

I encountered Ilina Crowley.

At that time, she was already a 7th circle grand mage and, unlike now, quite a mature woman.

-Thanks to you, I lived. Cielo. I was lost, but thanks to you I arrived without wandering.

Grace, purity.

Her blue hair and eyes were beautiful like a clear sea.

Yes, she was someone befitting the word ‘princess’.

If she hadn’t been wearing a witch’s hat, I would have thought she was royalty rather than a skilled mage, that’s how much she fit that image.

-Cielo, do you have a moment?

After she was deployed to the front lines. The number of casualties decreased significantly.

That was partly due to her status as a 7th circle grand mage, and partly because her main magic specialized in mass destruction fire magic.

When the red flames that contrasted with her blue hair swept across the land, even half-demons with outstanding regeneration could only become ashes.

Yes, fire was quite useful.

Unlike ordinary fire, Ilina Crowley’s fire could use the opponent’s power as fuel to burn them.

It was an absurd power that burned more fiercely the more they regenerated.

-Cielo, could you help me with this?

She was crucial personnel.

Though I was the Saintess’s direct secretary, when she called, I had to rush over and accommodate her.

Well, there wasn’t really much accommodating to do.

-Would you like to try this? I happened to find it when I went out earlier. Fufu, we had this in our country too.

Most times when she called for me, it was to chat rather than give work.

Yes, come to think of it, that’s how it was.

Though she gives a different impression now, she was quite favorable toward me back then.

Was my face her type?

I had such thoughts sometimes.

-Ahahaha! That couldn’t be! Cielo. You’re being self-conscious.

-…I was just saying.

-No, it doesn’t seem like you were just saying it? Haven’t you become too lax lately from being called by Ilina so much? I should give you more work.

-I’m already doing the work you should be doing now, Saintess.

-Do Claire’s work too?

-That’s a difficult order to refuse…

-Uh… N-no, that was a joke. I wouldn’t do something like that no matter what.

Was it a joke? Or a slip of the tongue?

Probably the latter. She must have forgotten that I harbored something like guilt toward Claire.

She wasn’t the type to take pleasure in poking at people’s wounds.

-Hmm, the reason Ilina is particularly favorable toward Cielo is because she feels a sense of kinship.

-I can’t do even a hundredth of what Ilina does though?

-I’m talking about mindset. Cielo, you’ve overcome all sorts of trauma, haven’t you?

-I wouldn’t say I’ve overcome them. Most times I didn’t even have time to overcome them before new trials came to trample me. I just ended up like this from desperately struggling to survive.

-It was a harsh fate. But despite everything you went through, you still survived until now, didn’t you?

I think I survived like this because the Saintess took me in.

But the Saintess seemed to think a bit differently. She spoke as if my living like this now was because I had overcome the pain of my past.

-Still, there are plenty of people in this world who have endured and overcome difficult lives besides me.

-That’s true. That’s why it’s kinship. I heard Ilina carried the same trauma as you.

-The same trauma?

-Yes, fear of fire.

-…You knew? I don’t think I ever showed it.

-Of course.

I’m afraid of fire.

I don’t know why. Just looking at flames makes my breathing quicken and I become unable to move.

-Every time you light tobacco, you squeeze your eyes shut and your hands shake – anyone can tell something happened, right?

I smoked tobacco to try to overcome my trauma. Since I didn’t know the cause of the trauma, I tried to get used to it.

It was both addictive and allowed me to regularly get close to fire, so I thought it was a good method.

Well, the trauma remained and I just got addicted.

-No, but I remember not smoking in front of you, Saintess.

I didn’t smoke in front of the Saintess since she would dislike the smell. And even if any smell remained, I purified it just in case.

-That’s right. I secretly followed you.

-That’s stalking.

-Would you call it concern instead?

Well, this could go either way.

Not a trace of guilt.

-You’re still working at it now, aren’t you?

-…

The Saintess smiled gently.

No, did she smile gently?

Even trying to recall it now, her face was hidden behind a pure white mask so I couldn’t see any expression. She probably smiled.

-Anyway, Ilina was the same. I heard she was afraid of fire?

-Even though she’s a fire attribute mage?

-Yes, she must have been able to come this far because she overcame that. Becoming a 7th circle mage was probably thanks to that too.

-…That’s quite remarkable in many ways.

She specialized in fire attribute magic but couldn’t use it.

It means she grew all the way to 6th circle using only magic attributes unrelated to her own.

In that state, she overcame her trauma and decided to use fire attribute magic.

Of course she would hit a wall.

-So, Cielo.

-Yes, Saintess.

-You are a far more remarkable person than you think. Enough for Princess Ilina Crowley to show you favor.

-That’s an embarrassing thing to say.

-Well, it’s probably not love though.

-Now that’s really making me embarrassed…

-Fufu.

I still have doubts.

Though I tried not to show it in front of fire, I still feared flames.

I just tried my best to get used to it by clinging to tobacco’s addictiveness.

Can that be called overcoming it? Wasn’t it just the Saintess’s empty words to encourage pessimistic me?

Even now I can’t be certain of that.

But there is one thing I can be certain of.

“Huu…”

I look at the end of the tobacco I was holding. There was a small ember on it.

When did it start? Being able to look at this flame without showing any reaction.

I don’t even use Vesta’s fire that doesn’t harm oneself anymore. I don’t squeeze my eyes shut or shake my hands either.

“Well now…”

Now I just naturally close my eyes and light up with the lighter I bought from Nidavellir, inhaling the smoke.

“…The trauma is gone and only the addiction remains.”

I guess I…

Without even realizing it. I seem to have overcome my trauma of fire.